


Permission To Commence Dating

by AndreaLyn



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 14:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to ensure all relationships are above board, they must be signed off by both the Captain and the CMO of the vessel. Jim discovers this little piece of protocol and enjoys it far more than he should, as far as McCoy's concerned -- until suddenly Jim's the one submitting his own form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Permission To Commence Dating

“Bones,” Jim says, holding up a piece of paper in his hands. “I need to talk to you.”

It’s two in the goddamn morning and McCoy had been in the middle of some of the most peaceful, blissful sleep he’s ever encountered. If this is the start of what five years in space is going to look like, then he’s damn well considering a transfer. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and debates what rant he wants to start with – whether it’s Jim’s entering McCoy’s room using his override, the hour of interruption, or the fact he expects McCoy to focus on something at this hour.

He sighs and decides to go for none of the above. He’s too damn tired to summon the energy to rant. “What is it, Jim?”

“I guess the last time we were up in the air was too short,” he says, plunking himself down on the edge of the bed. “I uh, I received this official request form from Carol today.”

McCoy shakes his head, not sure what that has to do with anything until Jim holds it out to him and he gets a good look at what it says – never mind the fact that it’s copied to both him _and_ Jim. It takes a minute, but then the old policy strikes him that they reviewed during orientation.

“Holy hell, it ain’t a myth after all,” he says with wonder.

He gets a good look at the names on the form, next. Montgomery Scott and Carol Marcus. Well, he’ll be damned. He supposes this is one good reason he’ll never be out of the loop of ship’s gossip – not that he ever was to begin with, seeing as the CMO needs to be aware of most goings-on with the ship. 

“Jim, I’m sorry...”

“What for?” Jim asks, cluelessly.

“I saw the big puppy eyes you gave Carol, I heard the way you spoke with her while we were on that planetoid, I...”

“I should be saying that to you, Bones,” Jim cuts him off. “I thought you had a thing for her. Never mind that, this is _real_?” he demands. “People actually need to ask the Captain and the CMO for permission to have sex?”

“More like start dating,” McCoy clarifies. “It has to do with making sure their roles aren’t too diametrically opposed. Imagine what would happen if one of your yeomen was dating...hell, Spock, for instance.”

“Uhura would rip off their head,” Jim says. “I wouldn’t need to worry about the form, in triplicate. Are you going to sign off on it?”

“In the morning, maybe,” McCoy says, grabbing his pillow and giving Jim a desperate look. “I really wanted to get some sleep tonight, Jim,” he pleads. “Can we save the fact that you just figured out you need to stamp off on people having sex for the morning?”

“Do I have to submit one of these if I want to have sex with someone?” he asks, a strange look on his face – curiosity, maybe? Shame? Hell, McCoy’s too tired to pinpoint it.

Rather than answer, he turns over in bed and drags the blankets high as they go so he can shut the world out and _try_ not to have dreams about Scotty and Carol having a date together – which is a lost cause, now that the image is in his head. “Probably,” he growls. “Would you leave me alone, Jim? Come back after alpha and we’ll talk about it properly.”

“Fine,” Jim sulks. “I’m calling Starfleet to make sure this isn’t some big prank!”

“You do that,” McCoy sighs and goes back to bed as soon as the graceful hiss of the doors guarantee he’s alone again.

* * *

Two months into the mission, it becomes a habit.

Starfleet has, in fact, confirmed that any crew member wishing to enter into a relationship with another must provide a form to the ship’s captain and CMO to ensure everything is in order. Rather than just signing off on it and passing it along to McCoy, Jim’s come up with his own little ... _ritual_ ... you could say.

“Two of them today, Bones!” he says, barging into McCoy’s office with two forms and a bottle of scotch. “Spock and Uhura,” he reads off one of them. “Must’ve felt guilty when I kept reminding him that he wasn’t following protocol.”

McCoy snorts. “That’d chafe his Vulcan sensibilities.”

“Ooh, look at this one,” Jim says, foisting it into McCoy’s face. 

McCoy sighs, taking the sheet of paper and wishing that Jim didn’t see this as the greatest opportunity to learn about ship’s gossip. True, they had the byline to find out which crew members were getting together, but that didn’t mean they ought to take advantage of it. Still, there are some couplings that definitely deserve a little attention.

This one? Well, it’s one of ‘em.

“Chekov and Sulu, huh?” McCoy snorts. “Well, they’re about equivalent when it comes to rank and I don’t know any medical reasons they shouldn’t be together, even if Chekov’s convinced that everything great was invented in Russia. That’s a disease I just can’t fix, though,” he says. He digs out his good ballpoint pen and scribbles his illegible signature on the document. “There,” he says. “Approved, they can go do whatever it is they want to do.”

He gives the same treatment to Spock and Uhura’s request and ignores the cloying sensation that’s reminding him that he doesn’t have anyone the way they have each other.

He’d always figured this would be a lonely job, out here in space.

The fact that the crew is finding a way to get through that loneliness is good. Hell, it’s better than good. It means that people aren’t lining up to tell him every last one of their problems. Maybe that explains why he’s got so much time lately to himself. He looks over to Jim, who’s staring pensively into his glass of scotch. 

“You okay, kid?”

“Yeah,” Jim promises, mustering a grin that isn’t very convincing. “I guess I’m realizing that, for the first time, I’m not first out of the gate.” McCoy feels like he could protest because Jim’s still slept with his fair share of visiting dignitaries and shore leave is never boring for Jim Kirk, but maybe he’s not talking about sex.

These forms are about relationships, after all.

McCoy claps a hand down on Jim’s shoulder and squeezes lightly. “Don’t worry, Jim. Your day will come.”

* * *

And then, one day, Jim submits a form to McCoy and doesn’t bother to show up to explain himself. It’s not the same as the others. It’s only got Jim’s name on it and politely requests permission to pursue a relationship with another crew member aboard the Enterprise. McCoy pinches the bridge of his nose and readies himself for a speech he’s had prepared for years. 

Jim’s Captain, which means he can’t date anyone that isn’t senior staff and his highest ranking officers are already in relationships with other people. 

It’s a disaster waiting to happen, is what it is.

He doesn’t sign the form. Instead, he waits until Jim’s off shift and directs him to the ready room, laying the form down on the table. “First of all, I can’t sign this without a second name on it. I’m not giving you blanket permission to sleep with anyone you want on this boat,” he says. “And second, since when do you hide behind paperwork, huh? Damn it, Jim, if you’re interested in someone, you ought to be telling me about it.”

Jim waits patiently, nodding along. “You done?”

“Yeah, I’m done,” McCoy grumbles, taking the opposite seat in the ready room. “Well? Who is it? Has to be someone pretty high up otherwise you wouldn’t even bother. You looking to be a third party in Spock and Uhura’s relationship? Aiming for M’Benga? Please don’t say it’s Keenser,” he pleads.

Jim smiles a Mona Lisa smile and takes up the form. “Huh,” he says, as if he’s seeing it for the first time. “Look at that, I didn’t actually finish it. My mistake. I’ll get it back to you within the week, Bones.”

And that’s it. 

That gives him no clue as to whom Jim’s mystery person might be. He knows, though, that Jim’s enjoying this little game he’s playing. “Damn it, Jim,” McCoy growls and leaves when it’s clear that Jim’s not willing to give him anything else. He storms back to sickbay and ignores his nurses and doctors as he mentally compiles a list of all the current members serving aboard the Enterprise.

* * *

By Friday, McCoy’s made up an actual chart with string leading from multiple possibilities to a picture of Jim dead in the center of the board. It’s a good picture, one where Jim glows as much as the command gold does on his chest. It’s a picture McCoy’s found himself staring at for longer than he really needs to be and when he traces his way through the strings to the potential partners for their erstwhile Captain, his mood only gets worse.

What the hell are any of these people going to do with Jim?

He’s the one who knows what Jim likes, knows what he’s allergic to, knows the kind of old-fashioned movies he likes to watch and the classical music he works out to. 

McCoy only hits awareness of how creepy all this must look when Jim comes tumbling into the room unannounced in that asshole way of his where he assumes because he’s the Captain, he can do anything he wants.

“Bones, you busy...whoa,” he says, taking in the board of crazy that McCoy’s been working so carefully on. “Please tell me this isn’t some murder investigation happening before the murder,” he says, grinning as he gets closer and reads some of the comments on the board – which happen to be pro and con lists of each coupling. “Bones,” he drawls. “You think that McKenna would be a big cuddler?”

“He needs someone to hold his hand every time he comes in for a vaccination.”

“And Rand? Bones, I might be incorrigible, but she’s my yeoman.”

He doesn’t dignify that with an answer. None of this has any sense apportioned to it. It’s the hypothetical ramblings of his mind and seeing as there’s still a blank form sitting on his desk, he needs to keep doing this until he gets an answer.

Jim trails the string with his fingers, a fond smile on his face. “Bones, you missed someone.”

“I did not,” he growls, because he’d gone through each and every member of the crew who wasn’t in a pre-existing relationship and who had signed on for the five year mission. “Who the hell did I miss?” he demands, when Jim keeps giving him a look like he’s an idiot for missing someone. 

“Bones, how come you’re not on the board?”

Now McCoy knows that Jim’s gone around the bend. McCoy’s had an idiot hard-on for his best friend since nearly the first day they met, but it became quickly clear that Jim’s meant for something brighter and better than a divorced man who ruined his last marriage by letting the space between them grow too wide. McCoy in a relationship with Jim condemns him to the ground, keeps him from sailing as high as he can.

“I’m not on the board because I’d be a mistake,” he grumbles, trying not to get caught in the trap of thinking about it too hard, because it always brings him down. “I’m the last person you need to be with.”

“Bones,” says Jim. “You’re the _only_ person I want to be with.”

Wait. _What_?

“What the hell are you talking about?” McCoy asks, standing there stunned as Jim hands him the now-completed form requesting permission to officially pursue the CMO of the NCC Enterprise for a romantic relationship. Stapled neatly to the back of it is a handy list explaining why they should be together.

And number one on the goddamn list is this: _You wouldn’t be bad for me, Bones. You took me up into the stars. You made sure I stayed focused. You put me first, at your own expense. Stop bitching about it._

And it goes on and on until the very last reason.

_Because you’re so hot I want to cry rainbow tears and I’ve caught you checking out my ass so many times I had to stop counting._

He looks up from the form, cheeks a furious red and his pants uncomfortably tight after reading that twenty item list that started to dip into pure fantasies by the end. 

“Well?” Jim coaxes. “What do you say? You going to let the Captain of this vessel pursue a romantic relationship?”

McCoy doesn’t say a thing. After all, who needs words when you’ve got a pen and one hell of an illegible signature giving Jim permission to do anything and _everything_ that he wants. Jim lights up like a Christmas tree as soon as McCoy lifts pen off the page and instantly, he realizes what he’s in for.

“Bones,” Jim drawls. “It’s gonna be great. You’ll see.”

Yeah, he thinks, actually somewhat excited to be wooed by the infamous Jim Kirk. He’s an idiot in love with his best friend and is about to be wooed until he gives in – what could possibly go wrong with any of that?


End file.
